Friday, April 7, 2017

Please, Not a Meltdown in the Middle of Costco!: Living With a 2e Child




Please,  Not a Meltdown in the Middle of Costco: Living With a 2e Child





When your 11-year-old 2e son has a (sensory) meltdown in the middle of Costco, it is awful. Instantly, it feels like everyone is staring at you and making judgments:  about you, your child, your child's behavior and perceived lack of discipline, and your parenting skills.  Worse, your child feels like a failure for having the meltdown and you feel like a failure for not averting the meltdown.  It's not exactly a bowl of cherries.


Then, the questions and self-doubts start flooding in:  How can I have a child who is so intense, so extreme and yet so bright, and so sensitive, loving and caring?  What am I doing wrong here?




My 2e son did not deliberately have a sensory meltdown in the middle of Costco without a reason. He is under a lot of stress lately.  Unintentionally, his world has been flipped over many times within the last year and half since moving to the UK, including moving last summer within the UK.


To be sure, my 2e son already feels like a freak: 1) for being born with special needs, including a sensory process disorder; 2) for having 'gifts' when they feel unearned and undeserved; and 3) for being homeschooled (or home educated as they say here).  He is 'different'.


To exacerbate the situation (which is partly the reason for the meltdown), we are literally in the middle of buying a house and about to move yet again.  IF my son had had the sensory meltdown in the real estate agent's office, I might well have joined him.



Buying a house and moving are stressful enough as they are.  However, if you have a 2e child who has sensory processing disorder, is on the autism spectrum or has autistic traits, then the dislocations with moving and sense or orientation can be even more confounding.


Sensory processing disorder and giftedness often go hand and hand.  There's an emotional component with giftedness that often gets forgotten.



Some may think that giftedness would or should preclude sensory meltdowns but this is not the case. Everyone processes sensory input differently from sensory seeking to sensory avoiding and everything in between.


Moving to a new house, town, or country is an emotional experience.  Even adults have difficulties with moving and adjusting to their new surroundings.  For a 2e child it can be much more intensified. While my brain might have transitioned to picking up the frozen blueberries and finishing the food shopping at Costco, my's son was stuck, so to speak, on the house viewings, another move, the dislocations that would ensue, and the lack of having much control over the situation.


My 2e son is an intense person who feels and experiences life fully.  I do truly love him, more than anything in this world.  I do not want him to feel like a freak or a subject of scorn or ridicule.


I want my son to have faith in himself.  I want to reassure him -- that although it may not be socially accepted to have a meltdown in the middle of Costco and that there are more appropriate ways to express his feelings and thoughts -- that he's still a child and is learning.  That it's ok to be 'different'.




This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop: Gifted and Twice Exceptional: Revisiting 2E Issues.  For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see:  http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/.  For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see: http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/.




NOTE:
I am an unpaid blogger (ie. just a homeschooling parent) who uses Blogger but doesn't add, embed, or employ any additional cookies, third party features or anything else!

NOTE p.s.:  I do not work for Costco, nor have I received any money from them other than as a Costco member who shops there!

Friday, February 3, 2017

Encouraging words from top scientists on homeschooling when the chips are down


Encouraging words from top scientists on homeschooling when the chips are down



The really big science questions need problem solvers. They need kids who are curious and who question, and particularly question authority including your authority as a parent. Granted, these kids are not the easiest kids to parent (i.e. they often question your authority as a parent!) and at times homeschooling them can feel like a drag.  But these kids are often gifted/2e and being home educated because: 1) they are gifted and may have special needs, 2) are not followers or necessarily compliant with a teacher or a school.


I'll be frank and honest here.  For those of us who are the liberal, latte sipping type and/or who believe in science, evolution, and the big bang, the stakes never seemed higher.  The recent political upheavals with Brexit in the UK and then with the US presidential elections can make things seem rather grim.  The state of education and the direction things are going in terms of education is disconcerting.  One has only to read the headlines on Common Dreams or other news outlets to get a sense of the alarm and despair within the scientific community and for the state of education.  And it doesn't take many negatively slanted stories on homeschooling (ie. the Feb 2nd Mirror article on the mother who lets her children play video games all day) to make an A type personality parent question or doubt their abilities to home educate and provide an education for their gifted/2e child/ren.

  1. Children are full of questions
  2. Sadly, by fifth grade, many children curtail their questioning
  3. Schools tend to foster submission to authority and not support endless questioning

As the above images sum up so beautifully, children are full of questions!  Generally speaking, schools tend not to foster children who question ad nauseum.  And yet, if we want a generation of scientists and people to solve the really big science questions and those facing the world today, we need children to be curious and ask lots of questions!

From time to time, I foster this questioning and ignite my son's passions by taking my 2e 11-year-old to science lectures, events, and activities that are free to attend and open to the public.  I am not the only homeschooling parent to do so.  The Washington Post recently reported on Romanieo Golphin Sr. who took his 7-year-old to CERN and university lectures, but there are countless home educators who do so as well.

Last Saturday, I took my son to Oxford University's annual Stargazing event, which was free and open to the public.  I spoke to some scientists there.  One conversation was particularly striking and worth retelling.

Here is what a scientist confided to me:

1) "Homeschooling is becoming more and more the best means to obtain a proper education in science; in some instances it is the only means; and

2) No one has an excuse in not obtaining quality education in science today with the amount of MOOCs" (edX, Coursera, Future Learn, World Science U, Isaac Physics and MIT OpenCourseWare to name a few) -- which are freely available online.

These are encouraging words from a top scientist on homeschooling when the chips are down!  Take heart.  This was not the sole occasion that I heard these points made about obtaining a quality education in science with homeschooling today.  Far from it.  Similar words have been uttered elsewhere in the UK and in the US.

Every time you feel a bit deflated, reach out to a wider community (whatever that may be). Follow your gifted/2e child's passions.  Ask questions.  Listen.  Take heart.  Reassure any nagging doubts on home educating.  Press your control-alt-delete to rekindle the flames and restore your faith in educating your gifted/2e child/ren.


This is part of the Gifted Homeschooling Forum's blog hop: When homeschooling your gifted child becomes a drag: my best tips.  For more on GHF's blog hops from around the world, see:  http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/.  For more of GHF's blog hop topics, see: http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/blogs/blog-hop/.




NOTE:
I am an unpaid blogger (ie. just a homeschooling parent) who uses Blogger but doesn't add, embed, or employ any additional cookies, third party features or anything else!

European Union laws require me to give European Union visitors information about cookies used on my blog. In many cases, these laws also require me to obtain consent. 

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